


Shadow and Sand

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Conflicted Kylo Ren, Crash Landing, Fix-It, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:26:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23270158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: In which after Poe’s interrogation, Kylo Ren takes a different path.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Shadow and Sand

**Author's Note:**

  * For [slinden](https://archiveofourown.org/users/slinden/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: One of two fics for slinden, who is an amazing friend, an amazing person and an awesome writer. One idea I was given was Kylo breaking Poe out of the Finalizer. (Well, I suggested it, slinden elaborated)

The darkness of Kylo Ren’s quarters on the _Finalizer_ would have turned off some people who saw it from the outside, but Kylo Ren himself found it comforting, especially as he stumbled in, removing his helmet frantically. It was enough to make him relieved, if he was telling the truth; he wouldn’t normally feel relieved at the idea of having his mask off. He simply felt naked without it, no matter what Snoke would have said about him not needing it. 

But here? Here, he could breathe. Breathe, and come to grips with the fact that he had 

_tortured_

interrogated a prisoner. It wasn’t like he hadn’t done it before. The first time he’d done it, he’d thrown up, but over time, he’d gotten harder. More used to it. It was just something he did. Snoke asked him to do a job, he did it. He was an attack rancor, going when Snoke said “go”.

And that was the problem, wasn’t it?

Poe. Poe had fallen into his trap. He shouldn’t have come to Jakku. He didn’t deserve this. When Kylo had sent him that missive from his datapad, he’d been so intent on Poe not following him there...

He thought back to the Sith tassels that Snoke had had him study. _He will strengthen himself through sacrifice. He will immortalize his love_.

And yet Kylo didn’t feel strong.   
  
He sat down, in front of the half-melted remains of Darth Vader’s mask. It was everything he was supposed to be, and yet he feared he would never be. 

”Forgive me,” he murmured. “I am...weak. As I have always been.”

No answer. Talking to a mask was usually considered odd, but in a way, Kylo felt stronger for it. Like Vader was everything he could be. Vader hadn’t been a good Jedi either. 

”Snoke...had me do it. It should have been easy. Finding the map. But I broke Poe’s mind. Without a doubt.” Kylo’s voice cracked. Right now, if Poe wanted anything to do with him, he could only assume Poe had the forgiveness potential of a Jedi. 

”I love him. Still.” There it was. The secret. The _thing_ that no one in the First Order could know. The way that he’d loved this brilliant, beautiful man. “To break him feels like breaking a part of me. Breaking a better part I didn’t know I needed. I need to be rid of this. You had someone like that; you had Grandmother. Help me.”

No answer. Kylo sighed. Of course not. He had not heard Vader’s voice for quite some time. He’d heard a multitude of voices in his head, all comforting and frightening in equal measure. 

Poe. They would break him, and then they would kill him. And that...even that brought up such a sense of wrongness in Kylo. He couldn’t do it.

But he couldn’t betray Snoke when Snoke had taken him in...

He got up. He could do this, just once. He could at least do one of those strange acts of kindness that occasionally managed to break through. No one would have to know. Weakness, but no one would have to know. 

***

It was heading towards Poe’s interrogation chamber that Kylo saw that it was empty — before he felt the shudder in the Force. Poe...

No. He couldn’t just be dead. Kylo reached through the Force —

— nothing responded. 


End file.
